Pity party?

Reading in Deuteronomy 3 and 4 it seems as if Moses is at his most human. He's whining about not getting to go into the promised land! If I remember correctly it was because Moses struck the rock and in so doing dishonored God by not trusting him, that he wasn't allowed into the promised land. But even Moses, Godly, humble and patient man that he was, couldn't resist the temptation to blame someone else. He says it in 3:26 and then again in 4:21. "The Lord was angry with me because of you." Wow. It started in the garden of Eden and it's here with Moses. So I have to wonder, what am I blaming on someone else that I need to take responsibility for?

That's the kind of question that I ask myself and never discipline myself to take the time to answer. Because it does take time to answer that kind of question. Time to think and ponder and pray. That meditative time is something I want to incorporate more of into my life. I'm at a place now where I have the luxury of doing it. Instead I'm afraid that I fritter away my time. I don't want to waste my time.

Also, there is a verse here, 4:9 that seems to speak to the distance that we often feel from God. It says, "Be careful never to forget what you have seen the Lord do for you." If God was going to be constantly interacting, I don't think there would be the call to remember, because it would be present, not past. But it seems as if it is natural, in God's view, for there to be times when He is not obviously present. It is during those times that we have to live on the 'storehouse' of the knowledge of what He has done in our lives and in the lives of our parents and others. It's so important to share with our children the times that God has answered prayers, or spoken to us, or changed us in a way that we couldn't have changed ourselves.

Later, "If you search for Him with all your heart and soul you will find Him." Doesn't seem to agree with the TULIP model, that verse.

Why do we still honor all of the Ten Commandments except the one about the Sabbath day and keeping it holy? Even if we agree that it's now Sunday instead of Saturday, why is it not set aside as a day of rest dedicated to the Lord? It's interesting that eight of the commandments are 'do nots' and only two are 'do' commandments. Do we just ignore that commandment because it's harder to keep?

I just recently faced up to my own priorities. I was going to go to Viet Nam on a mission trip. I really wanted to go. But I realized I couldn't do both that and go see my folks. I thought about the verse that says But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' and I felt convicted. I love my parents, it's not that at all. I want to go see them. But I was so busy doing 'Godly work' that I wasn't giving them the honor and attention they deserved. So I took the loss of the money I had put down and cancelled the trip. The money isn't really a loss anyway, I'm sure the mission group can use it. And as often as my thoughts turn toward Viet Nam, I know I made the right choice.

I just have to add one more verse, that doesn't seem to me to fit in with TULIP theology.
Deut 5:29 Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!
It sounds an awful lot to me like God desires something He has put in the ability of man to give Him, that is, obedience. There are just so many little verses like that throughout the Bible. Little snippets that just don't fit into the narrow parameters of man made systematic theology. Anyway, I'll save that for another time, maybe another place.