Internet connectedness

I've been having internet problems. I think I've got it taken care of after spending some quality time with a very patient man in India this morning. First it was intermittent and then last night as I was posting here I totally lost the connection and couldn't get it back. I was so frustrated. Computer problems usually mean hours on the phone squinting to see numbers and letters to small to discern (at least at my age) without a magnifying glass and endless minutes as I wait for my computer (old and slow) to reboot. So, I didn't respond well. I was frustrated and too often that means I get frustrated with other things that would normally not bother me. What a duality I have in me. On the one hand I have tried to live my life trusting it to God and His sovereignty and love for me. And then I encounter something like this and I can't even trust Him in it. Instead my humanity rises to the surface with irritation. It's sad.
So...I had posted several things here. I'm not sure I remember all of them. I know one thing was about our attitude towards money. I'm at the end of Deuteronomy now, I actually just got into Joshua. But at the end of Deuteronomy it makes several points that I think are valid as I look at finances, in light of the talk I'm going to give on wealth and poverty. The first is that we are to acknowledge that God is the source of all we have. It's so easy to take pride in ourselves, to think that if others just had our attitude or abilities or wisdom, they wouldn't be in the financial spot they are. The truth is that any of us could lose everything we have at any minute and no matter what we do, there is no guarantee of prosperity. So, number one, give credit to our Provider. The second was to give the tithes and then celebrate with your family the bounty God has provided. (All of this is obviously Paula's paraphrase, I don't have my Bible in front of me.) It actually commands that, to celebrate. So obviously it's okay to enjoy at least a portion of what God has given. We don't need to feel guilty if we do something just for fun. We don't need to beat ourselves up if we eat out knowing that there are people starving somewhere. But then it also talks about giving an extra offering for several groups, including the foreigner, widows and orphans. So while we are allowed or encouraged to enjoy the gifts God has given, we are also commanded to share generously, not just the minimum. I guess, as with all things, it comes down to the heart attitude. Am I greedy and self indulgent or do I care about the welfare of others who are less fortunate. It is surprising to me how often God tells us to give to the poor. Not in order to win them to faith, not for any motive, just to do it. I was raised that everything should be done in order to get people to become Christians, so to just do a good deed without specifically telling them about Christ and the good news He brings was almost wrong. But I'm not seeing that. What I'm seeing is that there is value simply in the physical act of caring for the needy.
Last night we went to the Boys and Girls Club of Annapolis. We fed about fifty kids and played with them and gave them lunches for the next day. We didn't preach or teach, we just gave. Part of me thought we should be sharing Christ, but part of me thinks it's okay to just give. I know that ultimately they need Christ, but maybe last night wasn't the time. We are going to see if we can sponsor one or two of the kids. Have them over to our house, take them to do things, just befriend them. It was so awesome to see our girls playing with them and interacting and enjoying it. They wanted to do it. I am so grateful to God for that. It made me so happy. Instead of having a bad attitude they entered into it with enthusiasm and hurt for the kids who were obviously love hungry. I'm so grateful that they have tender hearts.