Friday, January 4, 2008

Oh my!

I feel like I am breathing for the first time in months. I long for a more meditative lifestyle. When I am busy, I long for solitude. When I have solitude, I long for human interaction. How do I find a balanced medium?
We are half moved to Pennsylvania. I told my boss I need to quit. I don't have a date yet. I have a place for Andy's rehearsal dinner. I haven't sent out invitations yet. I have a place (barring rain) for Betsy's wedding. Of course, we haven't sent out invitations yet.
I found a book on my shelf called Destinae. I think someone gave it to me. It was a good book to find for a time like this. It's easy to read in snippets but it's interesting. It may turn out to be profound, I don't know yet.
I am excited/scared about moving to PA. It's going to be such a huge change for us. I keep waiting for life to get back to normal. I've decided that abnormal is normal.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Calling Heather Spencer

Heather, I can't figure out how to get to your blog to leave you a message. I can get to your profile, but don't see the link to your blog. Help me! I'm sure it's right there, but I guess I'm too distracted or something to find it. Thank you!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

No books here

I don't know when I last read a book just for pleasure. You know, the kind of book that your mind hardly even engages for, about as deep as the kiddy pool at the municipal park. Today would have been a perfect day for it, the temperatures were low and the rain was steady. It would have been delicious to wear my pajamas all day and move from one nest to another with cups of tea and slices of toast and a delightful and 'novel' companion. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
My life has been so incredibly busy. Honestly. Today I did get to stay home for part of the day and try to get some cleaning done, though I use that word loosely. Mostly it was unpacking from this weekend and grocery shopping and doing laundry. I did have to go into work for a couple of hours. Then tonight we took the dinner I made over to the home of some friends. She had surgery recently and isn't doing too well. She can't really get out so we went to them. And tomorrow other friends are coming. They are actually coming to see their son, a mid, but they need a place to stay and we have extra rooms. But it does mean I'd better get on the stick tomorrow and get things in shape. And figure out what to feed them tomorrow night.
Working takes up an incredible amount of time. I'm not sure I would have taken the job if I'd known how it was going to impact our lives and yet I know I'm supposed to be working with these people at this time. I'm certainly not working for the money, we give far, far more to the church than I earn. It's about the relationships and hoping that I can contribute something worthwhile.
My boss is going through a tough time. First his very good friend's dad was killed in an accident and now his mother-in-law seems to be dying. And in the midst of it all his daughter got engaged. It's an emotional time to say the least.
Well, my Ukraine trip is over, the council meeting is over, maybe things will slow down.

Thursday, October 4, 2007


So much has changed in the month of September...even though it's now October. I don't have lymphoma. What do I have? Who knows! My doc guesses that I picked something up in Africa, I think Sjogren's Syndrome is possible, but it doesn't really matter. Unless I develop symptoms more troubling than those I have now, it's probably not worth it to delve any deeper.
Andy and Betsy both got engaged. It looks like Andy and Megan will be getting married in February. I think Betsy and Eli will be May. But it could be June. Who would have thought a date would be so hard to come by?
Betsy wants to get married, or at least have the reception outside on the land we bought (and are slowly moving to) in Pennsylvania. She would like to have White Sulphur Springs available for use and she wants all immediate family there.
So...May 17th is still baseball (Jeremiah can't come), May 24th Andy is supposed to be underway, May 31, Susannah graduates from high school, June 7 the Lenharts can't come due to a high school graduation. After that, WSS isn't available anymore. Four weekends to choose from, and none of them work. We can't even find a date, how can we decide on reception, and all of those details?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

How the mind least mine

I think it's fascinating. When I was told I could have lymphoma or perhaps 'something else' all I could focus on was lymphoma. Last night I found something called Sjogren's Syndrome that also seems to fit the bill. So now, that's what I think I might have. It's amazing what just having a specific alternative does for me. I went from thinking of having cancer, to thinking of not having it. That ought to be applicable to something.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

And More Stuff

We're in Cedarville, Ohio right now. Our daughter is here to begin her first year of college. Today was abit overwhelming. I'm used to another college, where the rooms are large and the storage is ample. These girls have to share a room that is....well...small to say the least. They get one dresser to share between the two of them. Four drawers for two girls. That's right. It is amazing though. The other family arrived yesterday and they have come up with some amazingly creative ways to expand the storage space. We are blessed that Christie is sharing a room with their daughter. We bought a three tiered shelf (their idea) put it on a board on top of the desk, and voila! Room for a bookshelf! The dad is putting boards together to form a shelf over the complicated to explain, but it will give them a place to put their clocks and a few photos. They found these rolling drawers that area amazing, they go the whole width of the bed. So each girl gets two of those. Anyway, I'm astounded at what we were able to fit in that minute space. But it was very time consuming. Poor Christie was really tired by the end of the day. We left her in her new small group. We'll see her tomorrow morning.
I have a biopsy scheduled for Friday. That is assuming that I can get all my health care switched over. My friend, Charles, arranged it all. He is going to have all kinds of blood work done in the hopes that it's a parasite that I picked up in Africa. But he is going to biopsy several of the nodes, he says it shouldn't be a problem, they will be easy to stick. If the results are not conclusive he'll arrange for a surgery to take one out. Then, he said, he would hand me over to someone who specializes in lymphomas. But he said he wanted to be the one to give me the news. He's really going to a lot of trouble. In fact, he said he had decided to postpone a trip the next week if we can't get it done by Friday. I must say, I'll be glad to know, whatever the outcome. It's just the not knowing that is hard. Not that it will be easy if I find out I have cancer, but at least I will know what the battle is.
But today I realized, I keep thinking about what to do if I do have cancer. I need to think just as much, if not more, about what to do if I don't have cancer. I want to live my life well whether I have five years or fifty. So in a way, this is a good wake up call. Am I using my time well? Am I taking care of my health? Am I eating right? Why would I wait for a disease to make me change those things? So I need to make some changes now. Maybe that way I won't have to face something in the future. So really, this is good, even if it does turn out to be much ado about nothing.
So, this weekend is Christie's. I hope we can make it a good one for her and that she feels loved.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


A friend just called. He's a good friend to have. He's an oncologist, an expert in his field. He goes all over teaching. Last night he was at our house and took a look at some lumps I found on my neck a couple of months ago. Last night he told me not to worry, that we shouldn't go any farther than we know we need to go, etc. Tonight he called to tell me that he had been thinking of me all day, that he and his wife had prayed for me and that he wanted to help me navigate through this situation. Although I am very grateful for his call, somehow it doesn't make me feel any better. Instead it makes me think that what he felt last night didn't feel normal. Well, in fact he told me that things were not going to end with the CT scan that I have scheduled for Thursday night, that I could count on having a biopsy. Now I know that that doesn't mean I have cancer, but the odds just went up, at least in my opinion. He said I have one of two things, either an infection (which could be something as light as mono) or cancer. He told me to go ahead and change my health care to Johns Hopkins, that way he can help me with scheduling and recommendations. I don't know, somehow that all sounds a little bit ominous.